I am grateful for the opportunity and platform I have created to share my story with so many people. By sharing my story and being vulnerable, it has allowed hundreds of you all to share your story in return. One of the common trends I hear over and over again is, slips/relapses. Everyone has to define what their own slip/relapse is to them, because that is not for me to determine; however I will encourage the phrase, "To Thine Own Self Be True." I see so much shame and guilt in many of your eyes when a slip happens, then a purge of sentences will form: "what do I do now? Do I need to go back to treatment? Why can't I just stop? I am a horrible person? I screwed up this morning, so I might as well keep the behavior going until the end of the day. I lost everything I was working on. I can't tell anyone about this, and my family thinks I am doing so well." In these times, no phone call or text is made to a sponsor, friend, therapist, mentor, until a few days later, so the ED talk gets louder and louder.
According to the Journal of How to Live, I remember reading somewhere that I needed to have food in my body in order to survive (SMILE). As my therapist always says, "food is medicine." So if the very thing I struggle with, and have a disease against is #1 on the Top 5 ways to stay alive, I probably won't do it perfectly.  So here is something that has helped me in the past, called, The Road Trip.

I am going on a road trip to NY. I leave from C.A, and drive through a few states, and when I get to N.M my car breaks down. Do I  take my car all the way back to CA to get it fixed? No! I stay in N.M for a few days get my car taken car of, and keep moving on my journey to N.Y. So after i get my car fixed in N.M I start driving through a few more states, and I get a flat tire in O.K. Do I go back to N.M? No! Do I go back to C.A? No! Again I take care of the flat where I am, and then I continue on my way.

You probably are getting the idea by now of the road trip methodology, which means that just because you have a slip/relapse doesn't mean you lost everything you worked on. Take care of yourself in the moment, tune-yourself-up, and keep moving on your journey of recovery.

My husband always says, "You are worth fighting for", and I have to remember that my eating disorder is worth fighting against.        Hallie